In between

It feels like I regularly find myself in between things in life. Right now I'm in between jobs, hoping that the Lord provides something for me soon. So far He's been more than good to provide for my needs, so I'm not really all that worried. I guess I'd just like to gain some forward momentum.

I'm working on a portfolio website, but I don't really think graphic design is what I want to do with my life. I like building websites but that's not it either. I've always loved making videos but the passion that drives that comes and goes in spurts.

We'll see where I end up. In reading Chambers and praying and thinking I'm realizing that God's calling and my response are really two different things. God calls me to relationship with Him, to follow Him into the thick of things and discover Him for who He is.

How I choose to live my life for Him is really a natural expression of who He made me to be. Often I think we confuse God's call with what we should do vocationally, but I do think they're distinctly different. God's call isn't to do stuff for Him, but to be with Him.

Our reaction to the overwhelming love we experience will certainly be to do something, but that's a separate though not unrelated issue. Whatever I feel most joyously satisfied to do with and for the Lord will be a good response to His love, but the response to His call is to simply be with my Lord and find my all in Him.

Not that all of this makes complete sense to me yet or that I have my answers, but I'll get them soon enough if I just hang on to Jesus for dear life.