I don't get me

So I haven't written a real blog in a long time, this has been more a portal for keeping up with my videos and such (which there are quite a few of now, 10 up on youtube as I write this). I don't know if anyone regularly checks this thing any more, especially since the more perilous aspects of my journeys would seem to be taking a break.

I may not be living in Mafia infested territory, with prostitutes chilling on my corner or cars burning outside my bedroom; but life certainly seems perilous in other ways.

It's interesting how the sights and sounds, smells and sensations wrapped up in my time in France still come back to haunt me. The smell of cigarettes now reminds me so strongly of Europe, lying in bed with my sliding door open as cars ran by and pedestrians smoked in the day, hookers puffed their long stemmed cancer sticks at night.

Things back home have been good, if not bumpy. I returned to no job and no real source of income. God's been gracious to provide a great job for me (and a not so great job I had to quit because apparently I have these things called "morals") and I'm living in an awesome house with good friends in north Spokane.

But I don't really get myself. To be somewhat poetical I feel like I'm pursuing a destination, something for which I have a Holy Discontent and for which I was made. The journey to this place, however, is only the beginning as far as I can tell; and I'm not sure if it's that open ended nature of reaching what I now see as my goal that scares the crap out of me or if I'm just overtly confused.

Probably both. I'm charged, I have to get there, it was placed in my bones to live in this place and my marrow sings whenever I approach it. But the energy by which I am propelled closer to it somehow manages to drive me further from it as well. I'm drawn to it and it is simultaneously repelled by me. I don't get it, I don't get me.

There's a great level of mystery behind it, and how it interacts with my mind. I'm content where I am, but I know I won't be forever, and even if I'm content here there's a part of me that never will be. It's a Holy Discontent, something I believe God placed in me and something I'll spend the rest of my life pursuing. Even when I get there I won't be there, I won't be finished. I'll have to explore, to search, to conquer in a way or I'll go utterly insane.

And yet it's the one thing I can't conquer but must give itself to me, and must be something God brings me into. It's cyclical, repeated, I get closer and farther; more confused then incredibly lucid.

Oh well, so it goes. I try to break the cycle and end up broken, I try to fall deeper into it and end up crushed. The beauty of Christianity is often found in it's wonderfully, if not precariously balanced paradoxes. It seems I've found myself in one of those and like an eddy in a river I'm stuck swirling around until God comes along and plucks me out.

I suppose I should be learning something while I'm here. Eddies suck, whether rafting a river or braving spiritual waters.

In the meantime I'll just make videos and music and enjoy Jesus and friends. I've been blessed with so much, I'll be grateful for it all eventually. Until then I'll just focus on Jesus and try my best to follow Him one step at a time. There are no better, more valuable, more privileged options than this.

Enjoy Marshal Cane, the greatest Action Trailer to hit the internets since cold pie.

Nesquik contest entry - by Live Charge

We just finished our entry into the Nesquik Youtube contest. We hope to do well, but there have already been technical difficulties and my luck with contest entries has been less than exemplary.

Nesquik Contest Entry


by Live Charge

Satan's Seat - a skit by Live Charge

A new video by Live Charge! Enjoy!

Satan's Seat


Enjoy!

The Nerddom Begins

The latest video by Live Charge, not actually a music video for once. It's got castles and geeks, and it's finals week. Hilarious. Not to toot my own horn ;)

Mexidate - a Music Video

Music video # 2, Mexidate. A story about a guy who took a girl out for mexican on their first date, and regretted it shortly thereafter.


Live Charge

Photonym

A ridiculous rap about photography... and photology... and photogamy? Gotta check it out.

read more | digg story

Winding Down

Alright, so I finally have a few minutes to sit and write. Hopefully my intrawebz work long enough for me to get this uploaded. Two weeks ago my friends Mike and Simon came to visit which was nice, we visited all the local spots along the Riviera and I tried to take as many photos as I could for Mike (who sadly didn't have a camera).

We had some good talks, the weirdest of which was Simon's certainty that in the near future no one will use planes and that we'll all travel by boat. He's weird but hey, he's still cooler than crap.

To make life busier I've started my masters program at Whitworth so I'm already swamped with work there, my first paper is due on Friday. I also finished work yesterday, which was classic because 2 of my 3 classes were canceled for tests. True to form.
Sadly I didn't get to say goodbye to a few of my classes, but apparently they figured they'd take the initiative on that. I'll post their letters here for you to see, I thought they were pretty "sweet."

I hope you guys can read all this. Point is: they liked me =)Sorry for the brevity of this post, I have to go pick up my parents from the airport now which is super exciting. I can't believe my time here is almost finished, it's insane. I look forward to spending time with my folks though, it's their first time in Europe. We'll be headed to Paris in a week and then after that I'll be in Dublin, but hopefully I can get on here occasionally. Whelp... better jet. Peace!

Condensed non-exhaustive version of my thoughts

(The following is why I haven't written a blog in a while, and another will come out soon chronicling the recent visit of some friends)

Sometimes it’s not so much a matter of getting accepted into something as whether or not it’s what you feel you should be doing. I’ve had no clue for the longest time.

I’ve been thinking about starting my Masters at Whitworth for a while now. Rob asked me to go to a meeting at the University in the spring of last year to “show support,” but if that was really his goal in pushing me to go I’d be surprised. Regardless he did say that he thought it would be good for me, and it did sound intriguing at the time.

I like to learn, and there are few things in life I’m more passionate about in regard to learning than God and His Church. So in some ways it seemed the perfect fit, start a Masters and have a blast. To top things off my dad will be doing the program and I really miss spending time in the Word with him. He’s to thank for most of my early life as a Christian; without his guiding hand in my life I’d be nowhere near where I am now.

Which, the more I get to know God, isn’t nearly as close to where I should be; but we do what we can and we are where we are by the grace of God. And God’s grace was displayed effectively in my dad.

I’ve been wrestling with the idea of going to Whitworth for months now, starting back in March when I applied and continuing until today. I’m not sure why I struggled with it so much, largely due to the amount of debt I’ve accrued already while in school I think.

Ultimately I came to the realization that I wasn’t trusting God to provide for me. Kind of waiting for Him to say He would when He already has (Proverbs 10:3, Matthew 6:28-30, or Luke 12:28). And although yes, I should be working, I’m going to have to work either way so why not take advantage of the opportunity in front of me while I can?

Granted it will be tough doing both; however when have school, work, and ministry been an easy combination? Rarely - if ever - in my experience, so what’s to make me think that I should be able to find an easy path now? And if it does prove too hard hopefully I can scale back a bit on my course load.

This is a chance to grow personally, to find new opportunities to serve, and to feed the community that has given me so much in new and hopefully profound ways. It’s a chance to spend time with older wiser men, to learn more about the Lord and his Bride than I ever have before, and to be challenged and hopefully pushed beyond where I would have gone on my own.

Speaking of challenges, my first paper is due on May 2^nd; I’d better get to work.

You know what ELSE sucks?

NOTHING, frickin' nothing.

No let's be honest, a lot of things suck but life's too good to justify complaining as part of me would like to.

It's just that sometimes I want to throw a chair and kick some ass

and so I put on some crazy angry music and dance around

by dance I mean kick invisible ninjas and punch vikings in the face.

And I find myself wondering why the hell I'm so pissed?

Is it the lack of certainty in my future?

The loneliness I often feel?

Is it the life-long crush who knows not that I exist

or the fact that the songs I write fall flat on my ears?

Could it be the slow death of Christendom, and how I'd love to hasten it?

Or could it be the lack of passion in God's children to join me in the beating?

I don't get drunk but sometimes I'd love to just so I could go on a bloodlust of rampant theological GARRRRR!!!!

I can't even express how I feel in English! I just want to yell and punch and kick and throw knives at passers by so they'd know how I feel!

I'm not all sad, but I'm not all mad. I'm not all happy or horny or depressed or pissed or passive! I'm all of those things and none of them! I'm a ball of energy and I want to let it out!

So I'll put on some crazy angry music

and I'll kick the air

and someday someone will understand how I feel...

just hopefully not because I kicked them in the solar plexus. Good spot for a kick though.

JESUS IS LORD! And thankfully He puts up with my mood swings, uncertainties and passionate throw-downs of the mind. I'm not perfect, never claimed to be and hopefully rarely think I am. But He is, and His love is good and it's all I need. I just wish it was sufficient for me, because it could be if I only let go of the things that are driving me mad.

Screw it, I'm hopping mad and I'm not sure why. I'm tired of sluggish consumer Christians who claim Christ on Sunday mornings and forget He exists the rest of their week. May I never be that, may I be anything but that. I want to change the world and see people freed and redeemed and loved and held onto tightly. I want the world to know that Jesus is Lord not so that they'll join my 'club' or feed off my ideology, but so that they can LIVE!

So that they can feel this mix of emotions that I feel, that we all feel, and know that it's good. Know that it's a part of life, part of the process, and that sometimes we need to get pissed off at what's wrong and broken and even EVIL in the world. Passivity is for pansies, and he who hides his anger is a liar (check the Proverbs on that one).

So let's get angry at all the wrong things so we can be content and at peace with the right. Let's bring passionate love back into style, not lovey-dovey hugs and kisses where people don't confront each other when they're hurting themselves or others. Love isn't always pleasant, but it always prevails and is always worth it. I'm not even gonna read back through this or edit it on the off chance that someone reads it and decides to do something to change themselves and the world that they live in.

You have no idea how often I just write like this only to delete it; well now I lay my vulnerable self at your feet. Here's a peek to the two people who read this of what I'm truly like. I'm gonna go kick some ass and change the world, you can stick to your comfort and easy life if you want; I'm leaving, come with if you like.

You know what sucks?

European Coke cans weigh more so I always think I've got more Coke left to drink than I really do. It's depressing.

Video Games

I figured I'd post one last time before March is up. I was thinking about just how fast paced life back home is compared to here for me and ended up writing out my thoughts some. I don't know how much sense it'll make to everyone but, meh, as long as it somehow makes sense to someone.

Again I'll throw in random photos you may not have seen yet. Enjoy.
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I often wonder if our consumerist society is having a negative effect on our souls. Video games are a great example (but we could talk about clothes, cars, blenders, you name it). We find ourselves always wanting more of what we already have, craving the newest and greatest thing. The video game industry is practically designed to pray on this.

Every year new improvements are made to hardware capabilities, moving even faster than the coding of the software to utilize it. Thus new games aren’t just ‘new’ in the same sense that a new book is ‘new,’ they’re vastly improved in a number of areas.

It’s said Shakespeare wrote all that could be written, but no one has even imagined what video games are capable of yet. And so we keep coming back for the newest improvements, whether that's better graphics, sound, playability or a random novelty (like the Wii’s controllers, seriously people, one-trick pony). Of course even those random novelties are only the beginnings of potentially greater things.

And so we’re constantly moving from one thing to another: one console to the next, an old wardrobe for a new. The most ridiculous might be the way we have new models of cars every year; the manufacturers rarely make vast improvements. When I bought my car I read that between 1990 and 1992 Honda had made a seatbelt adjustment on the Accord. That was the major difference between the three models (they might have changed the headlights too, but I can’t remember, the seatbelt part blew my mind).

Similarly so many people are constantly adopting new spiritualities until they need something more, something new. And so the Christian tries some Buddhism, the Buddhist tries some “new” Hinduism, the Hindu converts to Islam, and the Muslim tries his hand at “Science.” We mix, we match, we choose parts of religions that appeal to us and construct something that from the outset is certain to meet our spiritual needs.

But when that fails to meet our needs, where do we turn? Ultimately there are only so many spiritualities to try, so many combinations to make. You could make your own; but someday in a moment of honesty you’ll know that it was self-made. It doesn’t transcend your soul.

And are we just being fashionable? Is the contentment of putting on of a new religion similar to the excitement of wearing a new coat? Fitting perfectly today only to become raggedly insufficient tomorrow?

If we have this hole in our hearts that is constantly crying to be fed mustn’t we assume there is something out there that can sufficiently fill it? If not I suppose there’s no point to spirituality as all of them will fall maddeningly short of fulfilling. And besides, that can’t be because to give up would be to forsake all hope and admit that we are horribly incomplete and can never be made whole.

We need something stable, something true. We need something that will not only continue to feed and grow us throughout our lives, but to do so in increasingly deep and meaningful ways. If it doesn’t continue to open up new worlds and impart greater truth into our lives as we grow and meet new struggles then it won’t suffice. We need something more than the mundane, the ritual, we need God Himself to come in and transform us.

We need God to make us what He intended for us to be before the world went awry. And we all have a sense inside of us that it is in fact awry. Things certainly don’t seem to be getting better, at least overall in the big picture (even if my beard is getting longer and thus making me more handsome).

I’d challenge you to find whatever the Truth is and to hold onto it. Don’t settle for less. Don’t settle for a dissatisfied state of existence; even though finding the Truth will always leave you hungering for more you’ll also find yourself incredibly content. Hunt down that contentment and dive deeper into it. It exists, and it’s wonderful.

EXPLODING CARS!

I was almost in an exploding car today. Before heading to Nice from Grasse, Vincent “topped off” the car’s oil. I say “topped off” in quotations because he put waay too much oil in. And by way too much I mean he was on an incline and guessed he put between 5 and 10 liters in... so the pressure went crazy and the engine started to pour out obscene amounts smoke while we were driving on the highway.

It was more smoke than I've ever seen, and then the engine started revving really REALLY high on its own. He put it in neutral and it just kept revving and screaming in the most insane manner. He even turned the ignition off and removed the key and it kept going and going despite.

So finally we pulled over and jumped out, I had to pull the baby out (hero moment) but after I'd already taken my stuff to the bottom of the ditch (not so heroic). I got down there and realized they weren't coming and was like "oh, they can't get out on their side of the car... hmm..." so we had to hurry. There was a sense of panic but we got down and felt a lot better being at a distance from the car.

Three fire trucks and some police later the car got towed and we got a ride from another friend.

Crazy day.

Fun Times

Just to give you an idea of how awesome my school is...

the other day I was sitting in the teacher's lounge at my school reading a bit of National Geographic with my ear buds in when one of my teachers, on the computer at the time, freaked out and jumped. I looked up to see a pigeon flying in and resting on one of the book cabinets.

Not sure what was up I opened another window, took the crate and shook the pigeon gently until she flew out of the room. As I carried the crate, however, I realized there were twigs poking out of the holes in the bottom. Further inspection led to the realization that there was an egg in the crate as well.

I went back and took photos the next day, letting the pigeon back in so I could get some photos of it. It was awesome. Video too, expect that later =)

Finally!

So five years ago my buddy Erik and I had the great idea to create a cartoon based off of a joke made by one of our high school teachers. Five years later I've scrapped the idea of making an animated Flash cartoon and have just decided to start drawing it. I got tired of waiting.

I ALSO can't wait to post the two I've finished until more than a day have passed. So I'm gonna just go ahead and do them both. I think I'll try to release a few a week as time goes by. In case you're wondering I created a whole separate blog for it. I'm hoping to slap together a website when I get home to host it, but until then blogger gets the honor. So check back regularly to see how things go.

Just be warned that the www.worldsworstsuperhero.com url will be redirected to that blog soon. You'll have to get to this one through the direct link (http://perilousjourneys.blogspot.com) after that. Just in case you were wondering that's why I bought the domain (worldsworstsuperhero) so long ago. It's not because I'm a terrible superhero, I'm pretty good actually.

Oh, and feel free to leave comments on the comics. You don't have to have a blogger account and I'd love to know what you think. The history of the comic is posted in the first post, the comic in the second. I'll put up the second comic here in a minute. ENJOY!

On this day in history...

On this day some years ago (if I gave the exact number I might be killed) one of the world's most wonderful and beautiful women was born. Her name is Sue Swanson and she happens to be my mom.
Sadly I can't spend today with her, and I wish I could. Outside of the free meal it would entail I miss just sitting and talking with my mom.
I don't know if any of you have cool moms, or ones that listen to you and spend time helping you figure life out, but I happen to have just that. She's so cool, in fact, she spends a certain amount of energy letting you know how cool she is just to make sure you don't forget.
Some of my favorite memories are in Basilio's or Sella's just sitting and eating a meal on a date with my mom. She always had time to listen and wisdom to share, and I've appreciated every bit of it, even if it sometimes takes me a few years to listen up.
My mom was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, something she'll have to struggle with for the rest of her life, but she's already taking it head on. She's a tough cookie, and between yoga, pilates, and walking the family dog who-knows-how-far every day I think she's going to do well. That and she would die before she let you think she wasn't tough enough to handle it. Either that or she might punch you for suggesting it.
I'm proud of my mom, and I'm grateful for her love and passion for the Lord; it has helped drive me to do the same. Her endless love and encouragement have always been a source of strength for me, even if she was a terrible nurse when I was sick. She wasn't that bad of one actually, I just give her crap for it like any good son would.
Anyways, I love you mom and I hope your day is special. Even though I'm not there to share it with you =)

Fears

So I started working on this blog last night because I felt like getting some thoughts down on... paper... well, you know what I mean. The point is that life has been anything but certain over the past year, and it's funny to see how I've come nearly full circle in a process that will probably continue to cycle throughout my life.

So I'm sitting at McDonald's, and I'm going to make myself sit here until I get something written out... and some old guy just stole my receipts. Uh... ok. So... that was really distracting, sorry.

Anyways, I'll try to write through my headache and the random thieves that manage to steal my precious pieces of trash.

Basically I've just been resting on a few of God's promises throughout my time here and through my life and I thought that I would share some of my struggles with whoever reads this. I'll also throw in photos from my weekend in Provence for aesthetic value.

I look at my life and there are a few key ingredients missing by the world's standards. One is having a clue as to where I'm headed or what my life will look like after the next two months. In 2 months I'll be in Dublin, spending a few last days in Europe before heading home for the summer. After that I really don't know what's up.
This winter I really wrestled with what I needed to do after the assistantship in France, where I'd live and what I'd do there. The two most prominent options were Paris and Spokane. One might think "duh" but it wasn't so simple. Film school in Paris sounds rad, but the Master of Theology program sounded great for different reasons. There were a number of things pulling on me in both directions and through it all I didn't fell God leading anywhere. I'd turn one direction and He wouldn't be there, so I'd try the other and He still wasn't there.

His peace didn't rest on me, I didn't know where He wanted me to go.
The second thing I'm missing by the world's standards is a lady. I don't know if there's a plague passing through the states or something but practically all of my friends are getting married this year. I start it off with a wedding in Spokane on May 31st followed by one in Boise June 1st, and then finish up with Dalbey's German wedding in September. And I'm still not finished because I'll be in my friend Erik's wedding in January too. What's wrong with you people?!

Now I don't know if there's anyone else out there who's been saving their first kiss for their fiancee, but this whole singleness thing can be really hard. I mean I'm hard wired to be un-single and here I am stuck in the world of ain't-got-no-one country song tragedy.
A third thing I don't have by the world's standards is stuff. I don't have money, I don't have a car (here at least), I don't have a lot of clothes and did I mention Eastern sucked my future self's wallet dry? So I'm stuffless. More importantly I'm cash free.

Thankfully, like I said, God is good to have given us promises and there are a select few upon which I've not only been resting, but with which God has been transforming my view of Him and the world in general. I'll start with my future plans.

I've been in this clueless position before. Last year I was in fact stuck between two options, debating between interning at New Community or coming to France. There were multiple factors that left me struggling for months as to which I should choose. And it didn't help that I had MONTHS to think about it. Once again, I've had an extended period of time to think and debate, to pray and wrestle.

Among many things what led to my decision to come to France was ultimately my desire to get out of Spokane. I wanted to speak French and to experience something new and exciting. It's a long story, but I went with my desire because it was the only thing that differentiated the two options from each other. God gives us the desires of our hearts, so I had to trust that it was where He wanted me, and after that I felt a great peace about my decision.

What was key in that decision, and similarly with my decision to apply to Whitworth, was God's promise in Proverbs 3:5-6 which says "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make your paths straight." I had to trust that if I would draw close to the Lord and walk as He did in as close of a relationship as I could manage that I would end up where I needed to be.

In fact things became so dark a few months ago and I had such a difficult time seeing where I was headed that I was really forced to put my theology into action. I had to cling to God in hopes that He was headed where I needed to go. I had no choice, I couldn't see three feet in front of me. And in the end, I've ended up with a decision and a great amount of peace. Whether or not I do the program is up in the air still, but the decision to move in that direction was the right one.
Regarding girls my time in France has been AMAZING for me. And not in the way that you (Rob) are thinking. Back in the States there's such a twisted mix of Christendom that plenty of people that don't really believe in Christ as their savior, in God's grace, still manage to call themselves Christians. This makes finding real Christians a bit more challenging, especially if you want to date one. There are other reasons, but those would lead to some intense debates so I'll leave it at that.

My time in France has been amazing for the complete lack of Christian girls. In fact, there are uncensored ads for porn on every street, and it too has been a blessing of sorts. See, every girl I meet here is almost guaranteed to be a pagan, and each one I talk or hang out with drives one single conviction deeper into my heart: I need a God-fearing woman.
I've met awesome, gorgeous, cool and funny girls with great and benevolent aspirations; but each and every one of them is missing something on a level that she cannot supplement on her own. The presence of God's Spirit, or the lack thereof is incredibly evident to me. As Dallas Willard puts it in his book Hearing God,

James, the brother of Jesus, uses the image of planting to portray the relationship of the additional life in the Spirit to our natural, fleshy life. He encourages us to "welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls" (James 1:21). After the "additional" life has been planted in us, our natural powers are not left to run their own way under or alongside the new life; they are to be channeled through and subordinated to that life from above. All are redirected to spiritual ends, appointed to higher purposes, though they remain in themselves normal human powers.

The uniqueness of each individual personality remains in the beauty and goodness of its natural life. But a holy radiance rests upon it and shines through it because it is now the temple of God, the area over which the larger and higher power of God plays. An additional, spiritual life comes through the word of God as that word possesses and redirects the energies of the natural life to promote the ends of God's kingdom.

I'm content to wait on God to find someone through whom His 'holy radiance' is shining in power. The reason these girls and the street ads for porn are a combined blessing is that the desire for a "perfect girl" or for external beauty is losing its grip. I believe that attraction is necessary, I mean if you're gonna make beautiful babies you're gonna need to want to sleep with your spouse. But for guys especially I think the challenge is that we get stuck on that external beauty and we let it rule the day and our subsequent decisions.
The Proverb (31:30) "charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" is gaining sway in my mind. I've always 'known' this, but it's really becoming a belief, something I know and, more importantly, act upon.

In all of this I also rest on God's promise in Isaiah 49:23 that "those who trust in me will never be put to shame." I've been trusting God my whole life that if I hold out on my sexual desires and wait for the right woman to come along that all will go better for me. The world and many of my friends would disagree; I've had plenty of discussions about it both at home and abroad. But as for me I'll trust in the Lord.

Thirdly (and lastly, sorry this is so long) I'm finding contentment with what I have and who I am. God's been freeing me from my insecurities, and helping me to just have fun and be content while poor and often alone. My time in France has been one of the most isolated in my life, and my list of social activities has shrunk notably. I've met some really cool people and had a lot of fun, but overall I'm as isolated from relationships as I've ever been.
And yet I'm so stinking happy. I think relationships are necessary, and I've found some particularly good ones here, but I've also found how much fulfillment and joy comes from simply being with God. My mind returns to Him so often, and I don't even need to say or think anything in particular; we just enjoy each other's presence. He's a good God, and a great friend.

"A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked" (Psalm 84:10).

The best part is how these verses tend to come at just the right moment, and how much they sooth my soul in hard times. God's promises are good, and He stands by them. My time in France has been anything but easy, but entirely worth it. God is so good, I'd suggest you get to know Him if you haven't managed it already.
And if you're wondering what that "other stuff" that makes Christian girls scary you can shoot me a note and I might tell you if I feel daring enough. =)

Coolest souvenir ever

If this isn't the coolest souvenir in the world I don't know what is. At least the coolest affordable souvenir ever.

I got an idea on my way to school. You see I walk by these two shops every day on my way to school that do a number of things like repair shoes, make keys, and more eye-catchingly make license plates for cars.

So for the past 5 months I've been walking by thinking "I should go in and see if I can get them to make me one..." not knowing if it's even legal. I've never seen anyone come home with a European license plate before, and in the states the closest thing you can get is the cheesy blue "Washington" plates with your first name on it in blazing white.

So I passed by, always thinking it was a great idea, never jumping on the opportunity. Until finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer. Last Thursday I went in and asked the guy if he could make one for me. The example plates were the square ones (for motorcycles and scooters) and the little rectangular ones (for SUVs apparently). The big rectangular one, the one I wanted, was nowhere to be seen.

So I went for the little rectangular one, similar to the big ones and cooler than the squares. He said he wasn't sure they could do it but he would check, took down my name, told me to come back the next day leaving me wondering what would happen. Honestly I had no idea if they'd start asking me for paperwork or proof of... car... you know.

The next day I came back by, hoping that it would work. As I walked in I looked down at the base of the counter and, to my horror, saw the big rectangular plates I wanted sitting in plain view. I freaked out, cussed under my breath, and hoped that they hadn't gone ahead and made a little one for me. The guy came out and I asked if they could do it, he said nope, they were too small.

Of course I was relieved and asked if they could make a big one, because that's what I wanted anyways. He said yep, went to the back, and came back out with my totally legit license plate.


Suck on that! Coolest idea ever, and though I'm sure someone else has done it I can honestly claim to be the first I know of. And to top things off this license plate is getting phased out as the EU switches to a unified system, so I got it just in time apparently. It's ok to be jealous, it may not even be legal.

London? Yes, London.

"London?"
"Yes, London. You know fish, chips, cup ‘o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary f*ing Poppins… LONDON!"

*WARNING – RIDICULOUSLY LONG*

Starting a ‘blog’ is always difficult as I really don’t like them in general. So I sit and try to think of a manner by which I can write something entertaining, yet keep it from seeming completely self-indulgent. Hopefully this works to that end. I recently got back from a 2 day excursion in London, flying in late Monday night and back early Thursday morning. Unfortunately I only had 2 full days there. My wallet disagrees and says it was a good thing I was only there for 2 days, but the rest of me was ticked.

I went to visit my good mate Simon, a London-born chap who I met when we were both on missions in Siena, Italy (I’m smiling to myself at how ridiculous that sounded). Simon’s a good guy who’s actually the mastermind behind the up and coming band Kid and Conundrum, so it was a good thing I got to visit him before he’s too famous to remember me anymore. For the moment he’s teaching languages at a Catholic school in Guildford, south of London, but soon he’ll be traveling the world rocking to his own tunes and the screams of thousands of adoring fans.

He picked me up at London-Gatwick, an airport also south of London, and we went to his parents’ house in Epsom to spend the night. I thought I’d get used to cars driving on the left side of the road while I was there… I didn’t. My mind was repeatedly blown as every instinct in my body screamed “WE’RE GONNA DIE!!” at every turn.

On Tuesday we went to London by train and walked from the Victoria station towards Buckingham palace. Unfortunately my batteries were already nearly dead, and I'd left my spares at Simon's parents' place. So my apologies for the rough photos from day one, I was trying to conserve battery life (and thank God they lasted all day) by using the little viewfinder, etc. But back to Buckingham Palace. We just happened to time it right to catch the changing of the guard, which was cool but disappointing as there were no guards in their tall fuzzy hats that day. It must have been casual Tuesday.

We continued on through St. James’s Park towards Parliament Square where we saw the Houses of Parliament/Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, the Eye of London, and a lot of statues. From there we walked down Whitehall towards the old offices of the Admiralty and the Horse Guards. We timed it right, again, to see the changing of the guards there as well.

From there we went to Trafalgar Square and saw Nelson’s Column. I rode a Lion, and we proceeded into the National Gallery to saturate our brains with fine art. It was really impressive, and the cheapest experience we had at the price of free. We left the Gallery and sought out one of my ‘must do’s for lunch: Fish and Chips. We landed on the Princess of Wales, a decently priced pub that specializes in sausages. So while Simon nommed some sausage I went to town on my Fish and Chips. Note here that in Britain by Fish and Chips they mean a huge honking chunk of fish with a marginal amount of chips, quite unlike home. It was delicious.

After lunch we caught the Underground at Charing Cross and sped to Covent Garden to see the performers and the famous market. The themed performers were sweet, though Cathy apparently thinks they’re creepy, while the more traditional ones (magicians, jugglers, etc.) were a bit more on the weak side. They dragged everything on waaay too long and used the same jokes as their competition. For example, when another audience somewhere else would cheer or laugh the performer we were watching would invariably say “You hear that? They’re watching the DVD of my performance yesterday!” To which I always wanted to reply “If your show’s so good that people would come to a market to watch the DVD why aren’t they here watching the real thing right now?”

Of course some Americans had to show up in ridiculous hats and stand out like sore thumbs to attract too much attention. Those kids must think the world hates Americans.

From there we went to Greenwich, passing under the sixth tallest building in Europe, Canary Wharf to get there. Unfortunately the Royal Observatory closed right as we arrived, so we didn’t get a chance to go inside. But I did get the chance to stand on the Prime Meridian and look confused as to what time it was. Clever, I know.

After the Observatory we walked around a bit and investigated the maritime feel of the area, seeing the world’s fastest boat (at the time it was built) under repair near the Thymes; and unfortunately under a tarp as well. The thing had a ton of masts, and apparently was set on fire by an arsonist recently. We also saw a squirrel sitting on a sign by the old Naval College, it was sweet.

After Greenwich we went to see the Tower of London and Tower Bridge near the new city hall. Apparently London hasn’t had a mayor in... well forever, and the recently elected one went ahead and built himself an egg-shaped city hall to kick off his career. Although, granted, it does look a bit cooler than an egg since it apparently got partially blown over during its construction.

From there we went to a pub in Camden Town to have dinner and watch a football (soccer) match between Liverpool and Milan INT. It was a tight game the whole time, and since Liverpool is Simon’s team it was pretty fun to watch. From there we went to a bar where a band was playing and enjoyed the live music (but didn’t enjoy my beer, tasted like liquid bread; don’t drink John Smith beer, it’s as generic as its name).

From there we headed back to Epsom and hit the sack after a long day of walking and tube-riding (the underground (the subway) in London). On Wednesday we got up a little later as we really needed the rest, and headed back into London to get a better look at the Tower of London. We got distracted by WWI and WWII monuments, and then the oldest church in London, but finally made it to the Tower.

We started out with a guided tour given by a Yeoman (a Beefeater) who was absolutely hilarious. He started the tour by explaining the moat (which is huge, 40 meters across) and how it used to be put to use. Just as he got finished describing a defeat handed to the French (but we don’t talk like that anymore, he said with a smirk, because we’re all great friends. Aren’t we?) a group of 50 or so French kids started making ridiculous amounts of noise behind him.

All that green used to be moat... scary.

They were actually so loud that he had to pause when they yelled. This is actually impressive considering he was a Sergent Major and was standing right in front of us.Finally he went over and took some other guards and told them to behave in, I’m sure, less than kind words. We proceeded from there to get a basic, colorful tour of the Tower and its battlements. Various executions and tales of torture were told along with the history and significance of each section of the tower. It was incredible; the amount of history in the thousand-year-old tower is mind boggling.

You know those situations when all you needed was a gun but you couldn't find one? This is where they were.

An early attempt at psychological warfare. If you don't understand don't worry, you don't want to be intimidated anyways.

Part of an arrow shooting competition thing in the museum. All you need to know: I won.

White Tower, the centerpiece and oldest bit, was built by William the Conqueror on the site of an old Roman fort in 1066 after he won the Battle of Hastings. Ever since then they’ve been adding onto it and making it more imposing; at least up until the 18^th century, when explosives made their defenses redundant at best. Now known in its entirety as the Tower of London it’s also the home of the crown jewels, which we also got to see.

Photos beyond this point weren't allowed. Actually this might not have been allowed either, but... well too late I guess.

We spent almost the entire day at the Tower of London. The Beefeater we got a picture with was nice enough, though he didn't want a hug from Simon. Tough guy. Afterwards we went to Brick Lane where we ate at a curry house called The Monsoon.

Supposedly London’s Indian food is the best in the world, even better than in India, and I’d believe it after our meal. Although I guess I've never been to India... it was great. The way it works on Brick Lane, though we only got a minor experience of it, is that as you walk down the street (which is saturated in curry houses) and the restaurant owners/workers will come out and try to convince you to eat in their restaurant by offering free drinks, dishes, or discounts, whatever. And then you decide which one you want to eat at based off the deals offered and whether or not there are other people eating there (empty Indian restaurants can be scary things).

After dinner we headed to a concert in an underground venue to see Peter and the Wolf. They were amazing, I loved their music. We also saw part of another act called Mumford and Sons who were really good as well.

And so, after rocking out there we headed home. I got to bed at about 2am and got back up around 4:30am to catch my flight. And that’s about it. London is great, I could probably live there (assuming I could afford it) with ease, just a cool and lively place. Thanks to Simon again for the hospitality and great two-day whirlwind tour, can’t wait to come back and visit you again. And to the rest of you, London is sweet, go there.