We drink the cheap stuff

I am Jack’s bloated sense of relaxation. I must say that the trips I’ve been taking have been nice. Swinging through Switzerland to visit Bavaria (Southern Germany for the stereotypical American reading this) was sweet. I have to say that the Alps are about the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, at least as you cross from Switzerland to Germany. Tall, imposing peaks surrounded by perfectly green little farms leads one to believe that a living fairy tale may have been discovered.

Anna

Spending a few days in Passau, I got to hang out with my friend Bianca and John’s fiancée Anna. This was to be a test of Anna’s worthiness to marry John, and so I put her to the test. I attempted to re-create an experience of living with John as best I could. First thing was first, I kicked her out of her apartment, demanding my own bed, laundry service, and chocolate at any hour of the night. She maintained her composure.

Bianca

I then proceeded to break her dishes so as to see her reaction. I did this subtly, one dish at a time until she had none left. Once again, surprisingly, she passed. I figured that I should come up with something more devious, something only John Dalbey would conceive of doing. What better than to eat all of her food, poop on her table and light her hair on fire within a total of 9 minutes and 32 seconds? Even John has a hard time beating his original record of 9:38.

She simply restocked the fridge, cleaned up the poop and grabbed a wig from a rack in her closet (apparently John had done this enough to prepare her thoroughly). My tests complete, I was forced to admit that she was worthy of marrying John.

In all honesty, she is a rad girl and was more than accommodating the whole time I was there. She even let me wear her coat at one point, and my friend Amber stay the night, and was a constant companion. She asks good questions too, which is perfect because John likes to hear himself talk. As do I. As do I…

Amber and I checked out Passau, met up with friends from Eastern (yes, people do leave Cheney occasionally) including my buddy Dan from German classes and Barbara, a German student who lived in Cheney last year. I also discovered that Barbara's new apartment is in the exact same part, nay, exact same street, nay! Exact same building that I stayed in the last time I was in Passau. The odds? We were clearly surprised (though by the time the photo got taken genuine surprise was replaced by cheesy "wow" looks).

wow!

We then went to Austria, walked through Ingling, and found a table covered in apples with a box that said “Take a bag and leave a Euro” (in German). We did, and did, and had a bag of apples to show for it. We then hit the train for Lausanne, Switzerland.

Austrian signs are always cooler

And Austrian apfels are tasty even if tiny.

13 hours, 5 trains (one of which was absurdly late) later we found ourselves in the international capital of the Olympics. Or the Olympic Capital of the World. Or the World Capital of the Olympic Games. Or something along those lines.

The Swiss know how to do croissants - with chocolate!

If my expression doesn't say it all then you need to just eat one and see what wonders await.

Without much time to kill we strolled down to lake Geneva and checked out the Olympic Museum before parting ways. I headed home to Nice, and after a total of 29 hours of travel arrived back in Nice at 11PM, ready to crash and stay crashed for some time.

Swiss boat? Complete with bottle opener.

He jumped over my hand? WTF?!

A week went by, I taught, had fun. I’ve been teaching my kids about Thanksgiving using a little tool I like to call “Thanksgiving Jeopardy.” I have a few favorite questions, not least of which is “This is how many legs a turkey has.”

But I think my true favorite is “True or False: Americans eat too much on Thanksgiving.” To which the first team to raise their hands inevitably and gleefully says “True!” (or sometimes “Yes!” And occasionally “Aaagh!”). To which I inevitably and gleefully say “FALSE! You can never eat too much on Thanksgiving!” Oh the French, they have so much to learn.

Then this weekend Kate, Jenny, Nathalie, my roommate Noah and I went up into the Alps to hang out in some little mountain villages. The road up was narrow and winding, and I’m not one to get car sick that often. Not that it was that bad I suppose; once I fell asleep I was golden. We stayed at St. Martin Vésoubie, Vésoubie being the name of the valley. Need I say it was beautiful? Nay, I need not.

We took photos of St. Martin late the first night, and I came away with some decent shots.

The next morning I found myself alone in the cabin, and thus decided to hike up the mountain to Venanson, another old village, but way up on the cliffs.

It took a while, especially since the trail eluded me. Thus, in one of those moments you don’t tell your mom about until after you’ve completed your trek, I used the long, winding, shoulderless road all the way to the top. I only almost got hit by cars twice… honest.

Having reached the top I chilled, took photos, read my Bible while overlooking a gorgeous valley, and waited for my friends to catch up using their silly car. We had sandwiches, laughed, and then went home.

And by home I mean Nathalie and I walked home to discover that Noah and gang had not gone home in the car, with the keys to the cabin. So we kept walking to St. Martin, found them, walked around and then drove home. That night we went back to St. Martin with Sebastian, as he had finally arrived by bus, and took more night shots.

Unfortunately Nathalie got sick, which ended things a bit early. We got her home, tucked away, and then packed up ourselves. The next day we drove home, Noah at the wheel, and thankfully didn’t die as we were overly packed in and had only one or two close calls… honest.